Anti-Americanism, North Korea Style

From the venerable (circulation and reputation disaster) LA Times:

SEOUL — Watching foreign movies clouds the mental and ideological health of the people.

Foreign hairstyles and clothing are signs of the "utterly rotten bourgeois lifestyle."

Shaking hands should be avoided in favor of bowing, as it is more hygienic and a part of the national culture.

It might sound like a cross between Miss Manners and a political screed, but this is the advice recently crafted by North Korea's ruling Workers' Party for indoctrination lectures at factories, collective farms and other workplaces.

Ah, the wonderful socialist paradise that is Kim Jong Il's North Korea. Like the French, North Korea's hatred of America gives political capital:

The documents also underscore the extent to which anti-Americanism gives meaning to the country and its people. More than 50 years after the end of the Korean War, the United States is blamed for all of North Korea's woes, from food shortages to the infiltration of foreign culture.

"The bastards' indecent methods are clouding the mental and ideological health of the people," warns one lecture. "If we cannot stop them in time, we will be in the same position as the Iraqis."

Yes, they would be in the same position as Iraqis. Firstly, they would be free of a tyrannical dictator and an overtly oppressive regime (just check out any video of the goose-stepping morons parading in front of Li'l Kim or these children searching for food in the land of Dear Leader). Secondly, they would have free elections. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, they could finally enjoy the creature comforts of the Western world, including Starbucks and Wal-Mart, just like their Chi-Com neighbors (they aren't really Commies in the big "C" sense anymore).

Finally:

The advice parallels a 2004 campaign on the North Korean Central Broadcasting Network warning men not to let their hair grow longer than 2 inches, although older men were permitted an extra four-fifths of an inch for comb-overs.

The TV station warned that collar-length hair on men depleted the brain of oxygen and did not conform to "socialist style."

The only thing depriving the men and women of North Korea of oxygen is the "socialist style" of living that has been crammed so completely down their throats.