MSM Headlines in 2029

Rantville Reborn has this hilarious (but scary) list of headlines we might see in a little over two decades from now:

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
. . .
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
. . .
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
. . .
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
. . .
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.